Car Jokes

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35 Fun Things To Do While Driving- Rated # 1 Submitted by Site.Admin ()
1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang.

3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling.

4. Two words: Chicken sui [. . .]

Driving Test- Rated # 2 Submitted by Site.Admin ()
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?

A: What for? He can't get my license plate number!

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same t [. . .]

Car Names Explained- Rated # 3 Submitted by Site.Admin ()
AUDI- Always Unsafe Designs Implemented.
BMW-Big Money Works.
* Brutal Money Waster.
* Bimbette Motor Weapon.
* Break My Window.
BUICK-Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer.
CHEVROLET- Can Hear Eve [. . .]

You might be a racer if...- Rated # 4 Submitted by Site.Admin ()
- You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.

- You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars.

- You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your [. . .]

How to Identify the Driver's Home- Rated # 5 Submitted by Site.Admin ()
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York

One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston

One hand on whee [. . .]

Top 10 Indications You Have the Wrong Used Car Salesman.- Rated # 6 Submitted by Site.Admin ()
10. When you complain that a car has too many miles, he asks you how many miles you'd like to see on it.

9. Has dog named "Pacer."

8. When you crank the car and fluid rocket over your left shoul [. . .]

City Driving Rules- Rated # 7 Submitted by Site.Admin ()
A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in [. . .]

You Know You Have Too Much Horsepower When- Rated # 8 Submitted by Site.Admin ()
1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.

2. You can't drive your car in the rain.

3. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.

4. You are af [. . .]

New Kind of car- Rated # 9 Submitted by Site.Admin ()
Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria. "Hey, whatever
happened to Pete in payroll?" one asked.

"He got this harebrained notion he was going to build a new kind of car."
his co-work [. . .]

Top 10 reasons to buy a new car- Rated # 10 Submitted by Site.Admin ()
10. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.

9. Instead of an air bag, there is a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.

8. You lose the stoplight challenge to [. . .]

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