1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers. 2. You can’t drive your car in the rain. 3. Your ‘significant other’ is afraid to drive your car. 4. You are afraid to drive your car. 5. You spend more on tires than on food. 6. You spend more on car insurance than on house payments. 7. You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash. 8. You throw your underwear...

Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria. “Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?” one asked. “He got this harebrained notion he was going to build a new kind of car.” his co-worker replied. “How was he going to do it?” “He took an engine from a Pontiac, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from a Caddy and, well, you get the idea.” “So what did he end up with?

10. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places. 9. Instead of an air bag, there is a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel. 8. You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14 year old on a moped. 7. 15 minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep you car for 3 days. 6. When you gas up, the attendant asks, “Can I re-duct tape that windshield for you?” 5. Thieves repeatedly break in your car just to steal the...

A man was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had anything to say in his defense. “They shouldn’t put up such misleading notices,” said the man. “It said FINE FOR PARKING HERE.”

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing.” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”

A young man comes home and says “Dad, just got my driver’s license and would like to use the family car.” Father replies, :”O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we’ll see.” Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. “Dad,...